[ just ask me, he says, with all the confidence oushi doesn't have. all the confidence he can't quite muster, when faced with all the absurdity of the past few weeks of his life. how will i know you're real? is what he doesn't dare ask, not when he's already asked too much of chuuya, not when chuuya's already given more than he ever needed to.
he supposes the irony's the point. when you find yourself unable to even trust your own instincts, you've no other option left but to trust in someone else's.
is that why patho-gen keeps stressing connections? a part of him hates that the people at blame for all this might just so happen to be right about the best way to deal with it all. ]
not by much
[ it's stupid to hang onto that, those two measly years, but it grants him a bit more space to process it all. to breathe it in and let it stick. ]
thanks though i'll... keep that all in mind
[ now is probably the part where he offers the same comfort in turn. but that would require chuuya to tell him something about himself, and if it's not something the other man is freely offering, then does he have any right to ask for it? it sounds like, at least, that he more or less understands this far better than oushi does... and maybe that means, then, that he's got his own failsafes already in place.
not for the first time, oushi finds himself at the precipice of do or don't... and not for the first time, he falls back on the latter. ]
no subject
he supposes the irony's the point. when you find yourself unable to even trust your own instincts, you've no other option left but to trust in someone else's.
is that why patho-gen keeps stressing connections? a part of him hates that the people at blame for all this might just so happen to be right about the best way to deal with it all. ]
not by much
[ it's stupid to hang onto that, those two measly years, but it grants him a bit more space to process it all. to breathe it in and let it stick. ]
thanks though
i'll... keep that all in mind
[ now is probably the part where he offers the same comfort in turn. but that would require chuuya to tell him something about himself, and if it's not something the other man is freely offering, then does he have any right to ask for it? it sounds like, at least, that he more or less understands this far better than oushi does... and maybe that means, then, that he's got his own failsafes already in place.
not for the first time, oushi finds himself at the precipice of do or don't... and not for the first time, he falls back on the latter. ]