[unconsciously, dazai's hand drags up to chuuya's jaw. his thumb drags along chuuya's lip. all for the sake of observation, right? he's fascinated, pulled in by something.
maybe it's those hot flashes of emptiness he's been stricken with. swallowing down. he barely eats those things they provide. he doesn't want to feel like he has to touch just to get by. but his body seems to be contorting into something desperate for it, near aching.
his thumb brushes against one of them, and dazai winces. a barely there thing, but he can feel the blood welling from his skin]
[ Not all the food is drugged at least. It's occasional. Making their own food or eating out gets around it, for now. The alcohol in the bar seems fine these days, although Chuuya knows some of it was drugged at one point.
He isn't willing to be sober in a place like this all the time, though.
Dazai touches him and Chuuya doesn't pull away or push him off. He wonders with Dazai's cold fingers on his jaw how much worse the imprint can get anyway. It's not like Dazai wasn't already lodged under his skin and bones long before they woke up here.
It's karmic the way it immediately gets worse as Dazai winces. Chuuya doesn't even register it so much as his mind blanks out. Instead of holding his mouth open with bad humored grace his lips close around Dazai's thumb as his tongue swipes at the blood and he sucks, giving in to an instinct that isn't remotely sexual. One of those things that's been building in the back of his head since four of his teeth came out and his fangs dropped.
It's just one drop. Two. It's not nearly enough, and Chuuya wants to bite down, and once that thought registers he instead jerks back entirely. ]
[Chuuya’s lips close around his finger and Dazai is gone.
his tongue traces Dazai’s finger and he makes a noise. A completely unflattering and broken noise. His heartbeat decides to grow a mind of its own and aches the way it slams into his ribs over and over again.
Chuuya is already backing off by the time Dazai lets a small, broken semblance of his partners name spill from his lips]
[ That didn't just happen. That did NOT just happen. Not the sucking on Dazai's thumb for a second, not Dazai making a sound that's absolutely going to haunt Chuuya for the rest of his life, not any of it. Chuuya does not want to rip at the bandages on Dazai's throat and bite there too. He couldn't get a good feel of the flavor of the blood from a few drops and
WHY IS HIS BRAIN. Thinking about it.
He kicks Dazai's knee out of a sense of sheer embarrassment. It's not as hard as Chuuya could kick Dazai because his kneecap doesn't shatter but. ]
Don't stick your dirty hands in other people's mouths.
[ It didn't happen it didn't happen it absolutely did not happen this is fully being filed away in the box of things Chuuya is not allowed to ever think about that he thinks about maybe too much but. He isn't ready to even begin to unpack this. It feels like holding a live grenade and they're just waiting for it to go off and kill them. ]
[it. Takes Dazai a minute. On the outside he’s just quiet, still. On the inside he’s shuddering, swallowing down something heavy. Arousal? The overwhelming desire to stick his finger back into Chuuya’s mouth or maybe something else—
Chuuya kicks him, and it hurts. More than the physical bit of it. Dazai winces a little.
[ Sparing with bandages. Right. Dazai probably doesn't have a job. Chuuya pinches the bridge of his nose, realizing that's probably not helping Dazai feel comfortable. ]
Just the roll I came here with. I've been using it on my neck mostly.
[the neck dazai wants chuuya to fucking bite, and do those types of ministrations on. did chuuya react to. dazai's blood? he wants to fucking snort. right after they got off scot free with a prison full of vampires, and chuuya is turning into one now. what a twist]
I'm managing! No need for Chuuya to worry.
[he's not actually. he's barely eating. he wants chuuya to shove his finger back in his mouth, he wants to be. something'd by just about anyone at this point. it feels almost insatiable. everything makes him want to run. but dazai just remains on the floor, fake smile-d as ever, and humming to chuuya like he hasn't a care in the world]
he doesn't move, just sits, ignoring the pain blossoming in his knee, trying to regain some semblance of control over his ever-fluttering heart. it's less so now that chuuya isn't sucking on his finger. but dazai tries to shove that behind the memory banks, something chuuya is obviously fine with pushing away as well.
so why does dazai care like it had never happened to begin with? he just. watches chuuya, staying like he was told]
[ What other reasons you creep - Chuuya is blatantly surprised. It's not like Dazai has never given him anything on his birthday, just...maybe once. Sixteen, before Oda. It definitely wasn't anything meant to be a good present really. He's a little dubious about the knife but doesn't drop it immediately even if he's sure there's a trick to it. ]
...thanks. [ What Is Wrong With It - Chuuya pockets it with a sigh. ] I'll bring back bandages and food. Okay?
[ He has acquaintances and people he's working with, sure. None of them are people Chuuya trusts implicitly in the same way he does Dazai. He'd like it if his partner was on his game and operating in tandem on this.
He'll bring the supplies back in an hour or so, regardless of whether or not Dazai pulled a runner. ]
[surprise, happy birthday chuuya. dazai is just trying to make his way out the door, trying to slip away as he comes back. he pauses in the door, some weird smile curling on his face as he doesn't meet chuuya's gaze]
[ He can't and he knows that. It's been seven - well, fucking eight now, he guesses? Shit - years and Dazai isn't a thing that can be kept or grabbed onto. He never has been. Not with Chuuya, anyway.
Chuuya shoves Dazai towards the desk and points emphatically at the chair. SIT. ]
You'll eat first and then you get the bandages. [ He knows better than to try it the other way around. Dazai will just slither out. ]
[well the shove wasn't very nice. it also did nothing to help quell all the heated thoughts surging through his head since chuuya sucked his finger into his mouth. he looks at it, and looks at chuuya raising an eyebrow, as if to say isn't chibi the dog? but he sighs. rolling his eyes as he plops into the seat]
Do I have to?
[he truly. hates the food. it would be easier to starve to death than to keep eating things that will only intensify what is already buzzing through his head. he feels sick at the prospect]
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[unconsciously, dazai's hand drags up to chuuya's jaw. his thumb drags along chuuya's lip. all for the sake of observation, right? he's fascinated, pulled in by something.
maybe it's those hot flashes of emptiness he's been stricken with. swallowing down. he barely eats those things they provide. he doesn't want to feel like he has to touch just to get by. but his body seems to be contorting into something desperate for it, near aching.
his thumb brushes against one of them, and dazai winces. a barely there thing, but he can feel the blood welling from his skin]
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He isn't willing to be sober in a place like this all the time, though.
Dazai touches him and Chuuya doesn't pull away or push him off. He wonders with Dazai's cold fingers on his jaw how much worse the imprint can get anyway. It's not like Dazai wasn't already lodged under his skin and bones long before they woke up here.
It's karmic the way it immediately gets worse as Dazai winces. Chuuya doesn't even register it so much as his mind blanks out. Instead of holding his mouth open with bad humored grace his lips close around Dazai's thumb as his tongue swipes at the blood and he sucks, giving in to an instinct that isn't remotely sexual. One of those things that's been building in the back of his head since four of his teeth came out and his fangs dropped.
It's just one drop. Two. It's not nearly enough, and Chuuya wants to bite down, and once that thought registers he instead jerks back entirely. ]
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his tongue traces Dazai’s finger and he makes a noise. A completely unflattering and broken noise. His heartbeat decides to grow a mind of its own and aches the way it slams into his ribs over and over again.
Chuuya is already backing off by the time Dazai lets a small, broken semblance of his partners name spill from his lips]
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WHY IS HIS BRAIN. Thinking about it.
He kicks Dazai's knee out of a sense of sheer embarrassment. It's not as hard as Chuuya could kick Dazai because his kneecap doesn't shatter but. ]
Don't stick your dirty hands in other people's mouths.
[ It didn't happen it didn't happen it absolutely did not happen this is fully being filed away in the box of things Chuuya is not allowed to ever think about that he thinks about maybe too much but. He isn't ready to even begin to unpack this. It feels like holding a live grenade and they're just waiting for it to go off and kill them. ]
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Chuuya kicks him, and it hurts. More than the physical bit of it. Dazai winces a little.
he licks his lips, pulling back a bit]
Okay. My apologies.
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Put a bandage on that.
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Of course. I do have to be a bit sparing with them now. So might need to find a bandaid instead. It’ll be fine.
[he claps his hands together]
Was that all Chuuya had for me tonight?
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Fucking - how much do you have right now?
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[the neck dazai wants chuuya to fucking bite, and do those types of ministrations on. did chuuya react to. dazai's blood? he wants to fucking snort. right after they got off scot free with a prison full of vampires, and chuuya is turning into one now. what a twist]
I'm managing! No need for Chuuya to worry.
[he's not actually. he's barely eating. he wants chuuya to shove his finger back in his mouth, he wants to be. something'd by just about anyone at this point. it feels almost insatiable. everything makes him want to run. but dazai just remains on the floor, fake smile-d as ever, and humming to chuuya like he hasn't a care in the world]
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[ Annoying annoying annoying as all hell. Chuuya slides off the bed to his feet and jabs a finger at Dazai. ]
Stay. I'll get you some. [ Unlike some people, he's been working frequently. ]
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why does chuuya care?
he doesn't move, just sits, ignoring the pain blossoming in his knee, trying to regain some semblance of control over his ever-fluttering heart. it's less so now that chuuya isn't sucking on his finger. but dazai tries to shove that behind the memory banks, something chuuya is obviously fine with pushing away as well.
so why does dazai care like it had never happened to begin with? he just. watches chuuya, staying like he was told]
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- and when did you last eat anything?
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Aaah, maybe two days ago? Those bars make me feel sleepy, so I avoid most of that stuff.
[he doesn't talk about how it makes him think of other things]
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[ No wonder Dazai has been so quiet. Chuuya growls, running a hand down his face. ]
I'm getting food while I'm out and you're gonna eat it, too.
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Ah, wait one second.
[he fumbles in his pocket for a moment, pulling out one of the only things he came here with. A small utility knife.
he pushes it into Chuuya’s hand]
It’d be a boring birthday without a present! Sorry it’s so lame, hard to acquire things here.
[well. There’s another reason he’s giving it to Chuuya but. Detail's]
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...thanks. [ What Is Wrong With It - Chuuya pockets it with a sigh. ] I'll bring back bandages and food. Okay?
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Mmm.
[just a noise, not much acknowledgement beyond that. Dazai is just staying like he was told]
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I need you to actually be in good health for this shit, Dazai. You're the only other person here.
[ Who he knows. It's old, bad habits. Having to keep alive a partner who fights against it.
But Chuuya leaves to go get the things he said. ]
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[theres really no guarantee he’ll be here when Chuuya gets back. He’s too caught up in things, trying not to let his head be one of those things.
but is Chuuya really right? Chuuya’s friendly enough. He has plenty of other people, what does Dazai do for him?]
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He'll bring the supplies back in an hour or so, regardless of whether or not Dazai pulled a runner. ]
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Get back in there! [ He brought you bandages and everything, you loser. ]
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he obliges with a smile, sliding back into the room without a word. ugh, well. it's his own fault for waiting so long]
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Chuuya shoves Dazai towards the desk and points emphatically at the chair. SIT. ]
You'll eat first and then you get the bandages. [ He knows better than to try it the other way around. Dazai will just slither out. ]
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Do I have to?
[he truly. hates the food. it would be easier to starve to death than to keep eating things that will only intensify what is already buzzing through his head. he feels sick at the prospect]
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